is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
