Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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