I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
