was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
