my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
