The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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