You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
