Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
