Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
