there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
