There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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