I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
