my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
