I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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