Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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