Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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