bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
