so that wasnt chicken after all
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
