Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
