shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
