I smell stomach acid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
