he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I need to sanitize my soul.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
