don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
