Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
