Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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