I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
