Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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