I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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