careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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