Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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