Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
