I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
