she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
