fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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