You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
