Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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