You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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