Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
