I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
