I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
