scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
