He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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