If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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