yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
