A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
