Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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