I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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