is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
