I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
