We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
