Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
